One Year On: Happy Wendy-versary!

18th December marked one year since my stoma surgery. A big milestone and surreal to see how far I have come since last December. I still can’t quite believe it has been a whole 12 months since I faced my biggest fear and Wendy came into my life.

I was so looking forward to Christmas this year, especially after last. I looked forward to time with my family after more than a year apart. As it turned out, Christmas 2020 was not the occasion for us to reunite but I know whenever the time comes, it will be worth every second of the wait. I hope that like me, you managed to find peace and joy this Christmas, in whatever way felt right for you and with whatever restrictions you faced.

To mark my Wendy-versary and December blog, I am reflecting on 12 things that Wendy has given me in 12 months.

1. I have been pain free for the longest time in my life.
2. I don’t have to go to the toilet umpteen times a day (...and night) or leave plans early because I have a date with the toilet.
3. I don’t get bloated anymore and can even spot an ab or two some days...depending on volume of cake consumed.
4. I love going out for long walks everyday. These have become quality time for Adam and I. I now know what it means to have a spring in your step.
5. I can eat food I love without suffering afterwards, or worrying that I am going to.
6. Throughout my recovery journey, I surprised myself with how strong and resilient my mind and body truly are.
7. In processing my surgery, I healed a lot of other demons I didn’t know I had from living with a chronic illness for 20 years.
8. I found the confidence I needed to put my health first. And stick to it...no matter what!
9. Adam and I grew stronger together. There is something about going through a trauma together that brings you closer than you ever thought you could be. We may not have been able to get married this year but Adam is already my husband in my mind.
10. I have spoken to lots of lovely people who have Crohn’s disease and stomas who have helped me along my journey. For the first time, I have people to speak to who are going through exactly the same thing. One day I hope that I can can help someone how they help me.
11. I discovered a fire inside myself that is burning to raise aware of what it is like to live with Crohn's disease and a stoma. To make sure that no one else has the same perception I did about what it is like to live with a bag.
12. Last but not least, I reignited my passion for writing- through blogging for My Friend Wendy.

This year has not been easy. Most of us have struggled, with things feeling harder now than ever. I think they call it lockdown fatigue? Something I have heard a lot recently is, “Well it could be a lot worse, we are lucky really. We shouldn't complain.” It goes without saying that we are all incredibly grateful for what we have and we must try to focus on the positives to get to the other side. But shouldn’t we also give ourselves permission to feel how we feel?

One of the key things I learnt from my recovery journey is that it is only through accepting and validating your feelings that you will not be scarred by them. It’s ok to feel sad. To feel angry. That things haven’t gone the way we planned this year. When we feel like our world is unravelling, there is no right way to act, to feel, to speak. Apart from allowing ourselves a bit of self compassion and validation. Perhaps some days we will cry. But that makes the laughter in the days that follow even more special. This year has been heavy, but we will come out of this more resilient and more grateful for life than ever.

I am signing off 2020 with big thank you to you, for taking the time to follow my recovery journey. It means the world to me that you have taken the time to sit down and read my ramblings.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Love Me

& My Friend Wendy.